5 Things About Me That Could Easily Make You Question My Sanity

1.  I hear voices in my head.  I told you before about the old man who lives in my head.  He has a roommate, a woman.  She’s witty, intelligent and strings words together like beads on a necklace.  Unfortunately, she talks to me at the most inconvenient of times, like 4:30 am, when my body is too tired to respond to her excited “You should write this down!”  She has a lot of opinions and they’re all pretty good-natured.  She is like the opposite of the old man but somehow they have managed to both make comfy homes in my head.  I never hear them both at the same time.  I mean, come on, that’s totally nuts!  Hearing two voices at the same time – ha!
2. I cry a lot.  I hear a touching story, I cry.  I imagine something sad, I cry.  I am excited, I cry.  A dream comes true, I cry.  A dream falls through, I cry.  You see the pattern?  Sometimes the crying is more like a welling up of the eyes, sometimes a ginormous lump in the throat, sometimes a leaky nose.  But basically, I react with emotion to everything.  As a child, I heard this a lot:  “Oh, there she goes again, crying about _(fill in the blank)__”  As an adult, I have learned to restrain a little, or blame my allergies, or blink repeatedly (just watch my wedding video, you’ll see).  Or I cough.  If you’re crying, I will cry.  It’s not just a physiological response (you know, like yawning when you see someone else yawning).  It’s definitely 100% emotional, because that’s me.
3. People walk in and out of my head.  Now, this is different from the old man and the witty woman.  These other people don’t actually live there.  Seriously, my head’s not that big!  But every so often, a character will walk in to my head, fully formed, complete with a name and voice pitch.  They don’t actually talk to me but I think I could get them to talk to me if I asked them the right questions or just gave them the space.  Before I can say “boo” though, they waltz right out.  Such a shame.  I always like to meet new people.
4. I believe myself to be a freaking amazing artist.  Yes.  I am a bonafide Super Artist.  Don’t believe me?  Step in to my mind the next time Michael Jackson’s Smooth Criminal is playing in my car.  You will see, right there in my mind, that I am the only one on the dance floor of an otherwise packed night club.  The lights go off, the first beats of the song are heard and then Flick!  On goes the spotlight, flooding me in a glow as I start the number off with hard, strong movements.  My moves are truly fit for a king…the King of Pop himself, actually.  I am agile, toned and just damn awesome.  I can jump high and land low.  And my hair – you should see it as I whip my head around (and not even lose balance!).  Sometimes the huge disconnect between my mind and my body surprises me.  For example, on Friday I tried my first Bollywood fit class.  I totally thought I was going to be the star pupil.  I imagined being asked to perform on stage with the dance school that hosts this exercise class because I thought I would be that good.  If Michael Jackson can make me move like a hardcore, hip hop genius, (even if only in my mind) then how could I not be a born Bollywood star?  Genetics should have some factor, right?  I mean, sure my family hasn’t been in India since my great-grandparents’ generation but moving my hips like that should be in myblood.  You can take the girl out of India but you can’t take the India out of the girl…or something.  Anyway, like I was saying…complete disconnect.  And it surprised me.  What’s even more strange is that the next time I am on my way to the Bollywood fit class I will imagine myself nailing every move.  Nothing can reason with this delusion and I’m OK with that.  I like being delusional!  It keeps me going!  I think the old man and the witty woman have it right.  It’s way more enjoyable to be living in my head sometimes.
5. And the final thing that could easily make you question my sanity, is that I am letting go of a career that offers me financial security and a respected position in the health sciences profession, to spend more time getting other people to listen to the voices in their head, welcome all kinds of crazy (what some might call delusional) ideas into their lives, cry when they want to, recognize and use their creative talents, and finally, to believe that they are Super Human, born to do great things!

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